Austyn Farrell as Quarantina (Tina) Turner and Oscar Conlon-Morrey performing ‘Well Be Back’ in Legends of Lockdown LIVE! at the Vaudeville Theatre, London. Pictures: Lidia Crisafulli
Legends of Lockdown LIVE at Vaudeville Theatre, London.
Star rating: four stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ✩
Legends of Lockdow LIVE! is a variety concert celebrating those enterprising and intrepid entertainers who put out social media content and kept us sane while theatres were closed over lockdown. Except they didn’t really keep us sane, did they? After a few months deprived of social gathering we decided to elevate a local government officer to Beyoncé levels of fame and adoration for the way she conducted a parish council meeting. We have to accept that none of us have been sane for a while now.
Still, there’s no denying that by tapping into the peculiar quirks of British culture, this country’s finest abusers of the internet have at least made the madness of the last year a little more bearable. There is little to inflame a Brit’s patriotism in this unfurling post-Brexit hellscape, but the persistence of our sense of humour in the face of actual nonsense does warm the heart. This hilarious evening is an exuberant celebration of that surrealism, satire, self-deprecation and talent that binds us more than a thousand Union Jacks and royal babies ever could.
The evening kicked off with a mis-timed AV cue leaving the hosts Kerry Boyne (presenter, voice artist and TikTok phenomenon) and Sooz Kempner (comedian, actor and sole remaining reason to use Twitter) to dance onto stage, realise things were amiss, and dance right back off again. Throughout the night, the pair embraced this ramshackle energy and made it work, interspersing their contractual cue card-reading with ironic asides and cathartic political rants.
The first act to be introduced was the absolutely electric Austyn Farrell, who you may know from his viral street dance videos. Along with four perfectly in-sync backing dancers, he reprised his popular Greatest Showman and Tina Turner routines. It was the perfect way to kick off the show. Wow, have we ever missed the power of exceptionally talented dancers absolutely slaying some great tunes, live.
Next, Naomi Cooper treated us to a visit from her delightfully repugnant middle-class snob character, Philippa. Her characterisations were spot-on and she handled the room with the comic timing of a seasoned pro. The audience was hyped-up and full of good will to support the acts through any lull, but there were none to be seen in Cooper’s tight set.
Two double acts followed. First are tap-dancing sensations Lizzi Gee and her son Rufus Bateman. After recently having been taught to dance by his mother for some adorable viral videos, it was nine-year-old Rufus’ first time performing on a stage. He smashed it. Their routine was impressively ambitious and executed with the sort of precision and flair one would expect on the stage of the West End’s historic Vaudeville Theatre.
Next, Boyne and Kempner were joined by Mufseen Miah and Spencer Cooper for a chat about their Queer Talk podcast, which was started during lockdown. The pair are funny, insightful and have such wonderful chemistry, it is easy to see how their show has become a firm favourite this year.
The first half closed with West End regular Rob Madge, who has been appearing in shows as illustrious as Mary Poppins, Oliver! and Les Misérables since he was nine. It is a brave performer indeed who chooses to not only take on two difficult Sondheim numbers, but to also rewrite the words of the man generally considered to be musical theatre’s greatest ever lyricist. Madge proved himself more than up to the challenge and delighted the crowd with a political rewrite of ‘(Not) Getting Married Today’ (“(Not) Getting Funding Today”) and a personalised ‘I’m Still Here’ that was both hilarious and touching.
After a short break for that much-missed overpriced interval wine, Act II opened with Kempner’s now-legendary Liza Minnelli impersonation. Over lockdown, she went viral reciting Trump speeches, but here Kempner kicked in her remarkable singing talents, honed on cabaret stages, West End musicals and more recently hugely popular Twitch streams. Her interpretation of Minnelli’s ‘But the World Goes ‘Round’ began with the comedy of her pitch-perfect impression, then developed into a genuine show-stopper. We’ve all been waiting a year for somebody to belt a ballad in our faces again and Kempner delivered masterfully.
TikTok comedian and creator of genuinely funny lockdown content, Joe Carter’s strangely earnest interview was a slight downturn in energy, but Boyne injected enough of her own enthusiasm and charm for any awkwardness to be glossed over. He was followed by Irish stand-up comedian, Seán Burke. As Burke pointed out, a West End theatre was quite the intimidating venue to return to after an extended break, but his confidence put us at ease and he delivered a set of riotous and clever new material.
Rosie Holt in the guise of her flag-waving and insufferable character “The Woman” is our penultimate act. In an age of jingoism and an incomprehensibly electorally successful right wing, perhaps the most cathartic moments of the entire night are the laughs at the expense of those ‘Little England’ powers that be. Holt’s performance is brilliantly well-studied and downright hilarious.
The evening was wrapped up by West End star Oscar Conlon-Morrey who has treated us to countless hilarious videos during lockdown. To auditorium-shaking laughter, he re-created some of the most successful here. The grand finale was a joyous singalong of his theatre industry-based rewrite of the Hamilton song, ‘I’ll Be Back’ – an idea so perfect it was borrowed by Lin-Manuel Miranda himself for his recent appearance on The Tonight Show. Conlon-Morrey is an absolute master and the fact that he is just at the start of his career is very exciting indeed.
In all, Legends of Lockdown LIVE! was a lovably messy affair, elevated to great entertainment by the creativity and talent of its stars. Video appearances by Jackie Weaver of Handforth Parish Council fame were a nice touch, but it was the opportunity to see fantastic live performances that made the evening. An important reminder that talent is talent, whether it is found on TikTok or a West End stage. The perfect antidote for lockdown blues.
Ian Bowkett
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