Rehab the Musical – Neon194

Christian Maynard and company in Rehab the Musical at Neon 194, London. Picture: Mark Senior

Rehab the Musical continues at Neon 194, London until 17 February 2024.

Star rating: four stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ✩

London theatre fans, your days of lamenting the lack of musicals featuring the actor Keith Allen rapping about cocaine are over! Rehab the Musical is partly inspired by the no doubt difficult lived experiences of its authors (songs by Grant Black and Murray Lachlan Young and book by Elliot Davis), but in the capable hands of director Gary Lloyd, it is by no means an overly serious and sombre look at addiction and recovery.

Set a quarter of a century ago in the long-distant, barely remembered past of 1999, Rehab the Musical follows child star turned musician Kid Pop as his lifestyle of fame and parties leads him to a court-ordered stint in the Glade rehab facility. There, he encounters a community of affable addicts who gradually wear down his cynicism, while in the outside world, a Machiavellian PR industry works to exploit his troubles for profit. The show’s ultimate message of compassion is heart-warming, and though its drama may not shake you to your emotional core, the production’s focus on fun and its lack of self-seriousness is refreshing.

Black and Lachlan Young’s songs are firmly in the pop tradition, and it is a delight to hear the show’s 1990s influences turned sonic through synthesised flourishes from musical director Caitlin Morgan’s four-piece band. Some arrangements sound better than others over this new venue’s sound system, but when the players are on fire, the room positively shakes. Highlights include stadium-pop opener ‘K.I.D.P.O.P.’, the heartfelt ode to parental love ‘Through His Eyes’, and the Act II showstopper ‘Museum of Loss’.

Some lyrics might be a little on-the-nose (one song is titled ‘Poor Me, Pour Me Another One’), but staging this production in the new Neon 194 venue, which – and this is meant as a compliment – has the vibe of a gorgeous but hastily-converted nightclub, imbues the music with added ’90s dance-pop power. When the big tunes come to a climax, the audience response feels more like a rock gig than a stage musical, and that works very much in its favour.

However, this production’s greatest achievement might lie in its casting. Yes, Keith Allen raps – and also elicits plenty of laughs elsewhere – but there are myriad further delights. The legendary Mica Paris blesses us with the sublime timbre of her incredible voice, and also brings believable gravitas to her role as the rehab counsellor Martha Prosser. The always-fantastic Jodie Steele borders on iconic as drily catty PR assistant Beth Boscombe, while John Barr proves an audience favourite as tanning addict Barry Bronze.

Leading the show as Kid Pop, Christian Maynard turns in an electric performance with frequently astonishing vocals. Matching him with charm and touching moments of emotional turmoil is Maiya Quansah-Breed as the dancer-turned-rehab infiltrator Lucy Blake. The cherry on this deliciously moreish cake is the brilliant Oscar Conlon-Morrey, who plays a food addict with fascinating psychological depth and a secret second identity. The audience’s response to his rendition of ‘The Cheese Song’ nearly blows the roof off the newly-adapted venue, and that is just one highlight of a superb performance that frequently steals the show.

So, if you’re after ’90s vibes and a night of fun at a new show in a quirky new venue, Rehab the Musical is perfect. If the show falters, it is down to those ’90s vibes. Not only do these extend to the music and plot, but also the tone and humour. That’s not to say there’s much objectionable in its politics – it is probably less offensive than your average Friends episode – but in 2024, little feels truly new or essential. There’s still plenty of joy to be had in laughing at a well-told joke you’ve heard before, but in the scheme of musical theatre, it is on the less ambitious side.

Still, not every musical needs to be innovating and pushing the medium forward. Rehab the Musical could have been made at any time in the last quarter of a century, but let’s just be glad it’s here with us now. Make the new Neon 194 venue near Piccadilly Circus your destination if you fancy an exciting night of big tunes and raunchy fun to warm up this cold, cold winter. (And please indulge responsibly.)

Ian Bowkett